Don't Panic

Don't Panic.  These two words are quite possibly the most useful advice when traveling the galaxy. Or in my case just to Ireland.  Though, not panicking is much easier said then done.  My day of traveling began long before I got on a plane at LAX.  It began in my mom's kitchen nook, where my sister and I were packing my suitcases.  After checking the new international baggage rules and regulations, which are purposely designed to prevent international traveling, we had to unpack half of my suitcase, scrap a few clothes, and pack a 2nd carry on (which we could not figure out if it was allowed or not).  With no scale to weigh anything, it was anyone's guess if I was under the weight limit.  Once finished with that ordeal, I attempted to sleep, eventually achieving a mere 2 hours.  At 5:30AM we were off to LAX.  After a brief but tearful goodbye, I entered the long line to get my boarding passes and weigh my baggage.  My suitcase weighed in at 50.5lbs, 0.5lbs over limit. By a sheer stroke of luck, or a blessing of the travel Gods, the flight agent said, "we'll let that one slide" as if she was being nice and doing me a favor.

So hurdle one has been overcome.  Now onto the security checkpoint.  It's a long line, but seems to be moving quickly.  As I near the end of the line, the line begins to split into 5 lines.  I pick the shortest.  Mistake #1!  Its shortest because it is the only line that is using the new full body scanners and thus each individual take 3 times as long to go through when compared to a standard metal detector.  While awaiting my turn I turn to my right and notice a dog going through security.  This is not to be confused with a highly trained police security dog.  No, this is someone's pet that they are apparently attempting to bring on board a modern aircraft.  And it's not one of the small yappy type dogs either! It must have weight 40lbs!  Unfortunately, I did not see the conclusion to that episode as it was my turn in the machine.  "Oh joy," I say to myself, "at least my knee wont set this one off." Mistake #2!  As I exit the machine I hear over the radio of the TSA officer in front of me, "Male, anomaly, waist."  I haven't the slightest clue what the machine thinks it saw in my waist line.  Now, I have to get a person to give me a pat down inspection.  Amazingly, they find nothing in my waist line.  Stupid machines.  But, at least I was through security.  Now to just find my plane.

The flight from LAX to JFK was not too bad.  There was a very young baby right behind me but surprisingly only cried for a minute or so right after take off.  This being an American airline company, breakfast was offered for the price of $8.00.  A glass of water was free.  I had the water.  Who the hell would pay $8 for crappy airplane eggs.  Oh well, no breakfast.  A little time passes and it is time for the inflight move to begin.  Now I typically have good luck with airplane movies so I was hopeful.  Mistake #3!  Not today.  I was subjected to 'Something Barrowed.'  A romantic-drama of epically horrible proportions!  Even without my headphones in I could not escape the movie as the TV was right in front of me.  I fought back to urge to smash it with my fists.

After 5 hours of flying I land in New York.  I have 1.5 hours until my flight to Shannon, Ireland leaves.  Getting off the flight there is no airline representative to assist me or anyone in an information booth to tell me where my connecting flight is.  I eventually leave the terminal after making several rounds and determining its not there.  I randomly asked a employee at a ticket counter and he responded I needed to go to Terminal 4.  He offered no other direction and seemed very pissed off that I disrupted his few precious minutes of not dealing with any living human being.  I headed out of the building and looked for a bus or something to take me to Terminal 4.  I found a train.  Eventually, I made it to Terminal 4, got my boarding pass, went downstairs, and began the whole security process over again.  The line is long, very long, and moving at a pace that would make a snail think he's The Flash.  Once closer I see why the line is going so slow.  They are pushing everyone through 3  of the 5 available metal detectors.  It wasnt a staffing issue the prevented the other two from being used as there were loads of extra TSA agents just standing around chatting.  I now have 20 minutes to get to my flight before it takes off.  I can hear them calling for passengers over the loud speaker. I'm at least 30 minutes from the plane.  With about 5 people left in front of me, TSA decides it should open the other 2 metal detectors.  Finally, I think I'm going to get through. Mistake #4!  The guy in front of me gets his bag flagged in the x-ray machine.  Three TSA agents now are staring at a screen trying to figure out if he has a bomb or a pack of gum.  While waiting, an Aer Lingus representative came to security and announces it's final boarding on my flight and asks anyone on the flight to the front of the line.  TSA doesn't care.  They aren't letting me through until the guy in front of me has been fully searched.  With a little more negotiating by the airline rep she gets me through security.  I am now running down the terminal, without my shoes on, to the plane.  Check in, put shoes on, get on plane.  Nearly had a 'Dumb and Dumber' moment.  But, at last, I am on the plane to Ireland.

What a difference being on a non-American airline makes. First, I have my own TV.  I have my own remote.  I have a selection of 25+ movies to pick from and 20+ TV shows to watch.  For FREE! We are served a FREE dinner and snacks. However, the flight was not all perfect.  There was yet another baby on this flight.  I wasn't getting lucky twice.  In fact, it wasn't even a baby, it was a toddler, who was hell bent on making everyone's life a living nightmare for the entire 5.5 hours we were in the air.  My solution: volume on movie up and attempt to block it all out.  Maybe got a half hour of sleep on the flight.

We land in Shannon and now I have to catch a bus to Cork.  I buy a ticket and head to the bus stop.  Its currently 6:30AM, freezing, and raining.  Welcome to Ireland.  I find the bus, get on, and think about going to sleep.  Then I remembered I have no idea when I'm getting off this bus.  No sleeping for me.  Thankfully I didn't.  The bus ride was incredibly scenic as it took me right through the heart of the Irish countryside.  Everything is so green!  And there were so many castles and medieval ruins!  Just like a postcard or movie.  Taking pictures would have been a great idea.  But I didn't take any as it was too dark and they would not have turned out.

Finally, I arrive in Cork.  Get a taxi to my apartment.  Get my keys (not until I find out that they haven't received my wire transfer yet, just another headache to deal with) and find my room.  I meet one of my roommates as I enter.  He is from Germany, that's all I can remember.  I send my email letting my family know I made it, then proceed to pass out for about 10 hours.

Every travel guide should mimic the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and include the words "Don't Panic" written in large red letters across its cover. It's the most important thing to remember while traveling.  That, and never go anywhere without your towel.